May 18, 2009

My Guilty Pleasure, Take 2

I’ve already admitted, shamefully, in this past post how I like to watch MTV’s the Hills for entertainment value. Yes, I did in fact say “entertainment,” because, despite you disbelievers out there, it is hilarious. And, since this will be the concluding season of the show, I couldn’t help myself but to share with you a second installment of episode recaps. This past episode goes down in history as one of the most funny I’ve seen. You’d think it couldn't get much better, but it does in fact get more and more ridiculous. It’s fantastic! I know, it’s more like watching a soap opera and laughing at how dumb it is (in other words, stating the obvious). But, I just can’t help but laugh that this show is supposed to be representative of “real” life-in-the-fast-lane of L.A.

I remember when I was a sophomore in college, all of my roommates loved to watch Dawson’s Creek, and I thought the show was so outrageously stupid. So, whenever we’d all sit down together to watch it with a bowl of popcorn, I would make myself the honorary Dawson commentator, making fun of each character and everything they said. I’m sure you can just imagine how much my roommates loved that. It wasn’t long before I was banished from the living room during Dawson time. But, on the other hand, I want to let you know that I’ve liked many a stupid show in my day, as well. I still have to admit to people that I watch the Hills and most of the time it’s kind of embarrassing—ok, really embarrassing. The confession is usually followed by: “I’ve just lost all respect for you.” “What are you, 12?” “I’m sorry—were you serious?” “WHY?

But even after all that, you have to admit, if you’ve ever seen the show, that it’s stinkin’ hilarious. You HAVE to, right? Well, in any event, I hope you will enjoy these new little doozies from the new and final season of those people I love to make fun of:

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SCENE 1: The girls meet at a bar for drinks. Lo starts to talk about her job, recently aquired.

Lo: To work for Davis Factor, I mean, he’s like a big deal. [Pehaps he has many leather bound books?]

Lauren [to Audrina]: Lo says he’s the big cheese. *smile*

Lo: I’m excited, especially for all the boys! *giggles*

Audrina: I know! Send them my way! *giggles*

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SCENE 2: Lauren got a fashion job for Stephanie at the same place she works. Kelly (her boss) let her know that she is completely responsible for Stephanie's every move. So, Lauren tries to get her revved up for work, but it proves to be kind of difficult for Stephanie to wrap her head around.

Lauren: I feel so short next to you today.

Stephanie: Oh, I only wear heels for work. I’m just like scared of Kelly. I feel like she wants everything like—professional.

. . .

Stephanie: I need to take a break from stressing about work and go on a man hunt.

Lauren: I don’t think you need to stop stressing about work just yet.

Stephanie: Did I tell you about the guy I met? Robert . . . RRRRRoberto! He’s a D.J. He’s reeaally cute. *she stares into space*

Lauren: *waves her hand in front of Stephanie’s face and looks over her shoulder* What are you staring at?

Stephanie: *closes her eyes* I’m trying to picture the guy right now. I really like him.

Lauren: *looks annoyed*

Stephanie: *points to her head* Work, work, work, work, work.

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SCENE 3: Since Heidi sort of gave all her friends the cold shoulder, the show inserts a token nameless friend for her to talk with and ask advice. This person changes from time to time. In this particular scene, Heidi is fed up with a girl who her boyfriend/sometimes fiancé/onetime husband keeps hanging out with. This girl wants Heidi to come and meet her so they can have a proper cat fight.

Heidi: I have so much to do. I gotta get my nails done—they’re chipping. I gotta get a new outfit. Man! *big sigh*

[Heidi proceeds to explain said boy problem.]

Token girl: How many times is this girl gonna just like muddle in your business? You know what I mean? Step off it already.

Heidi: She’s the devil.

Token girl: I mean . . . I’d go down there, just because if you don’t, you’re going to be curious about what she has to say to you anyway.

Heidi: I want her out of my life.

Token girl: Where I come from, we don’t deal with that.

[You are so right, token girl. You go.]

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MINI-SCENE: Shameless plug. Advertising? What advertising? Scripted? No way—this is totally natural.

Heidi: What are you doing?

Spencer: Twittering.


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SCENE 4: Kelly's idea of work ethic. It’s a mad world, people. Mad. I thought they said models DO eat? Guess it’s just the staffers who work in the fashion world who have the eating disorders now. Seriously, how could this woman have time to eat lunch if she doesn't even have time to comb her hair? Everyone definitely needs to follow her example—eating, personal hygiene, husbands—SO not important.

Lauren: She was on her lunch break.

Kelly: Lunch break? I haven’t had a lunch break in five years. That’s bullcrap. Any fashion girl who is serious about her career when they got that phone call even if they were about to get engaged would have said, like, nice ring, excuse me, I’ll be right back. And they would have left.
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NEXT TIME: A little treat to look forward to. Spencer is proposing . . . again. That shocked face is almost as good as the one she did the first time he proposed and the first time they actually got married (although that was out of the country and they were both drunk, so apparently it doesn’t count).

Spencer: I’m very excited about our progress. Getting married is just going to save this relationship. *pulls out a rock about as big as my fist*

Ok, I am beaming back to earth now to resume real life in real time! Goodbye my sweet reality show friends; I shall visit you again in fantasy-land soon! I hope you enjoyed this second (and final) installment. =)

6 comments:

Cami and Juan said...

We watch this too, yes Juan joins me. It is ridiculous! And so fun to make fun of and to hate certain people or all the people. Thanks for the laugh.

Cheryl Fowers said...

It's good to know that others indulge in this horrible show. But yes I am an addict, closeted until your last post on this but now I'm glad to know that others suffer from the same addiction. It maybe lame but they really show me that my life has so much more substance and meaning. I mean if your life revolved around girl DRAMA, shopping, boy drama, clothing, relationship drama etc it would feel pretty pointless. So thank you Hills for making my life meaningful by seeing yours.

Jane said...

Hi Camille, this is Jane from the 93rd ward. I found your blog link on the relief society blog...and I have to say this is my favorite post of yours yet. Oh the Hills--I love it too. Sadly I haven't seen an episode in forever so this update was so entertaining!

brittani c. said...

I am sad that I miss out on The Hills, but back in the day, I was a loyal fan of Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County. Pure entertainment, oh yeah.

P.S. I love the new look of your blog. And I'm ready to start up again with our book club. I've really missed the library.

Louise said...

I have never watched The Hill, but my sister is a fan. She talks about it often ;o) But it is for real, I mean, really...for real???

Maree said...

I've only ever seen The Hills being mocked on The Soup. However, I DID get totally sucked into the first series of Paris Hilton: My New BFF so ... I have no leg to stand on.
Happy Weekly Geeks :)